Tarnow Articles

Back to School

By: Jay D. Tarnow, M.D.

 

It has always been my experience as a parent and a mental health professional, that the week before school starts is an anxiety provoking time for ADD/LD children and their parents. Therefore, I would like to provide the following suggestions to help ensure a successful school year for you and your child.

The most important factor in reducing anxiety and creating  positive experiences is preparation. Ironically, this is a difficult task for children with ADD, yet it is essential for their success. There are several ways to prepare your child for the up-coming school year: 1.) Take your child to school a couple of days before the first day to introduce them to their new teacher and  to  familiarize them  with where their new classroom is located; 2.) Review where all  the classrooms are that they will be attending; 3.)  Review and practice their morning routine  to ensure a smooth transition; 4.) Begin waking them up early a few days before school starts to put them back on schedule to prevent that morning struggle the first day of school; 5.) And make sure that they are aware of what is expected of them and that the directions which you provide are clear, specific, and brief.

Perhaps the best teaching tools a parent can provide their ADD/LD  children with are modeling, experience, and recruiting their assistance. The key to preparation is doing it with our children and not for them. If we repeatedly prepare our children’s backpacks for the next day and prepare that project that is due to be turned in, they will never understand the process of organizing and preparing. On the other hand, if we instead spend our time repeatedly reviewing and modeling the process of organizing and preparing with them, then they will in turn learn the process for themselves and the repetition of the steps will fall into habit. As a result they will develop good skills to use throughout their lives.

Preparation for school also includes talking about school in a very positive  supportive manner. Do not dwell on the mistakes and hard times of last school year. Rather brainstorm with your child to develop a plan now as to how you intend to avoid the troubles of last year. Always be sure the plan is realistic and positive. Children feel more invested when they have an active role in their lives. It is also helpful to post a colorful chart stating the plan or goals where the child can see it daily. The reminder is better coming from the chart rather than from you.

Now that you have developed a partnership with your child regarding school, it is now time to develop a partnership with their teacher.  Begin by scheduling a meeting as soon as you are able to with the teacher. Remember the teacher is an essential part of any plan. Teachers are caring people who enter the profession to help your children. Like anyone, teachers want to feel capable and successful. It is your role to help them with this goal. The best tool that you can provide your children’s teacher with is information; information about anything that you feel is pertinent to their learning and well being at school. Teachers do not appreciate finding out information after they have been defeated. Teachers need to know about the child’s diagnosis, what the behavioral and educational implications are of that diagnosis,  how they can be helpful in the classroom, what has been helpful in the past and what has not been helpful in the past, their social strengths and weaknesses, and education on any medications the child may be taking and what the potential side effects are that they can be looking for.

The success we feel at the Tarnow Center is based on this team approach. We listen to each other and respect each other’s areas of expertise; and most importantly, we support each other. As a result, we have each grown and learned things that most professionals in our disciplines don’t know. Teachers are more likely to become your allies with this team approach and with the knowledge that you respect them and their professional opinion. The following are strategies that we, as professionals, have found extremely helpful in treating our patients: 1.) You need to develop a regular, systematic approach of communicating with the teacher; 2.) Coordinating behavior modification strategies between home and school; 3.) Communicating through weekly written feedback about the child’s progress; 4.) Coordinating home and school incentives; 5.) And scheduling meetings between yourselves and the  teacher at least every semester.

I believe another key ingredient to a successful school year is having the teacher work with the child, as opposed to “controlling” the child.  This is achieved by helping the child take responsibility for making the classroom a positive, supportive environment; assigning an isolated area where the child is able to go to when needed; plan interventions that helps the child feel part of the group and will help improve their social skills; and lastly, maintaining continuity from one year to the next is invaluable to the ADD/LD child. Past teachers are a valuable resource in helping to plan out the next school year.

You are your child’s advocate. This requires knowing your child, your child’s educational style, their strengths and weaknesses, and being able to effectively communicate that information to the people who need to know it. The professionals at the Tarnow Center are also here to be your child’s advocate. It is our job to find out the right information about your child and then work in their best interest. Lynn Ayres, M.Ed., and Linda Narun, M.A, CCC are among the many professionals at the Center who are  available to assist you in developing behavioral and educational plans and suggesting  modifications to suit your child’s needs.