Starting A New School Year; Making it A Success By Lourdes Valdes, Ph.D.
All over Houston, parents with lists are walking the aisles of department stores, buying school supplies and getting ready to send their kids to another year of school. Okay, some parents are doing this. Others, aware that another school year is heading towards them like an on-rushing freight train, are frozen in their tracks doing nothing but worrying about all they have to do. The good news is, there's still time. But you have got to get started. One of the things that can diffuse anxiety is to break down a task into smaller, more manageable steps.
When I work with clients, they rarely leave my office without a list of things to do before the next session. You probably already have lists from your child's school of things to buy; this article will present a list of things you can do to help prepare your child emotionally for the upcoming challenges. Children are always adapting to new challenges, and the beginning of the school year is no exception. For children with attention or other self-management difficulties, who sometimes struggle with inattention, impulsivity, and peer interaction difficulties, such transitions can be challenging or at least a little anxiety provoking.
There are more steps listed here than anyone can do in just a week, but you can break it down on your own and start now to prepare your child to have a successful new year in school.
For all children
- About a week prior to the first day of school, give your child a description of the morning routine: "I'll wake you up at 6:30, you need to be dressed by 7:00 for breakfast and be ready to walk out the door with your backpack and lunch by 7:30." Begin getting him to bed earlier and waking him up earlier in the morning as he needs to begin to adjust his internal clock.
- Some children may need to practice the actual morning routine a few days before the real first day of school.
- Sit down with your child (including your teenager) and make a list of what back-toschool supplies are needed. Include clothes, uniforms, shoes, binders, organizers, and agendas. Take a trip together to the store/mall to get these.
- Help your child develop an organizational system. Consider using a colorcoding system. Use colored dividers, tabs, and folders for different subjects. Use different pockets in folders for incoming and outgoing homework.
- Model good stress and transition-management skills for your child. Let her see that you also go through changes and cope with them.
- Allow your child to express fears and worries. It is natural for children about to enter a new year of school to be a little apprehensive. Remind him of other situations he has faced and mastered.
- Call teachers and visit with them in between report cards or progress reports. Teachers love parents who are involved and care. Support the teacher and develop a relationship with her.
For young children or children beginning school or kindergarten.
- Visit the school in advance. If your child will be walking to school, choose the most direct way with the fewest street crossings; walk with her following the route she will take. At school, have your child drink from the water fountain, visit the school library, try out the playground equipment, and take a peek at the their new homeroom.
- Have your child spend time with adults other than parents. A visit with grandparents, an aunt and uncle, or family friends will help to ease the upcoming separation.
- Read to your child books about the first day of school.
- Make sure your child knows basic skills, information, and expressions. Fasteners, address, phone number, asking to go to the bathroom.
- Don't dwell too much on the subject of school. If you frequently talk about school, it may suggest to your child that it is worrisome for you, which may arouse anxietyin him. At the same time, don't avoid the topic. Talk about the beginning of school with enthusiasm.
- For the first day, review the first day procedure with your child, step by step.
- Give your child a security item. Place favorite toy, book, or doll in her book bag or backpack. You might also put a picture of the family in the bag.
- Avoid over scheduling your child. Kindergarten is quite an adjustment for most 5-year-olds. You may want to postpone decisionsabout after-school activities.
For children beginning middle school.
- Talk to your child about how middle school will be different so that he has an idea of what to expect.
- Encourage your child to work independently at home and monitor her own progress, before the transition. For example, to improve time management, have your child predict the amount of time he thinks a project (such as making a page in a camp scrapbook) should take, and then compare it to the actual time. This can be done with activities such as dressing, bathing, eating breakfast, etc.
- Support the friendships the child will carry over from elementary school. For example invite children to your house over the summer or organize a fun day trip for your child and a few friends. The transition is easier on students who move with their friends.
- Talk about sex and drugs so that the young adolescent will not feel totally ignorant and left out and will have some face-saving ways of saying "no."
- Buy your child a small combination lock so that he can practice trying to memorize a locker combination and open a lock.
- With your child, attend any orientation programs your middle school may have. These often include a tour of the school.
- A few days before school starts, revisitthe school. Help your child to locate her home room and, if possible, her locker.
- Meet with the teachers. You and your child should meet with the "team" of teachers. Discuss his learning needs. Provide a copy of your summary and information on where and when teachers can contact you.
- Meet or touch base with the guidance counselor.
- Prepare a summary that includes information on the great things about your child, her learning strengths and differences, what difficulties she has with homework, and teachers that helped her the most, and why. Share these with the counselor and encourage the school to continue strategies that have helped your child in previous grades.
- Establish whether there is a person your child can see when he is upset or a place he can go to when he needs "down time,"
- Consider requesting a second set of textbooks to keep at home. This is helpful if your child forgets to bring the correct books home or if she feels panicky at the end of the school day trying to select needed books and catch the bus.
- Cultivate a friendship with at least one other parent of a middleschooler (hopefully one whose child is in a class with yours). You'll have someone you can check with about general school atmosphere or events that your child may be unable to communicate to you.
- Encourage your child to get involved in activities or clubs that are of interest to him.
- Don't hesitate to call the teachers or guidance counselor if your child is having academic difficulty.
For adolescents beginning high school or college.
- Attend orientations that the school might offer. Often colleges have weeklong orientations where the adolescent stays on campus and begins to interact with other students. If unable to make it to orientation, be sure to visit the school some time before classes start.
- Be aware of your adolescent's specific needs that may make transitions harder. Inform and collaborate with the school staff to obtain optimal support for your adolescent.
- If the adolescent has had documented accommodations while in middle school and high school, it will be easier to obtain accommodations in college.
- Get in touch with the Disabilities Services Office of the college as soon as possible to arrange for necessary accommodations.
- Learning in high school and college is based, to a large extent, in the ability to listen to a lecture and take notes. If your adolescent has difficulty taking notes explore options (such as using a tape recorder, laptop, or having access to the instructor's notes).
- Help your adolescent understand the long-term effects of course decisions. A youngster who mostly takes vocationaltechnical classes in high school, may have more difficulty getting into some colleges than a student who takes Algebra II, College-bound English, and Chemistry.
- Prepare your adolescent for the new high school and college experiences by discussing the changes and expectations beforehand. One of the ways we cope with anxiety best is by learning more about what it is that makes us anxious.
- Allow your adolescent to use herself as a model for adapting to change. Remind the adolescent that they have coped with changes in the past and talk about what was helpful in the past in coping with change in general.
- Discuss sex, alcohol, and drugs. Have specific rules about what is acceptable and not acceptable. Stand by these rules. Children sometimes find transitions challenging; however, with preparation, support, and sometimes a little extra help, they are successful transitioners!