Self-Management and Executive Functioning: The Importance of Social and Interpersonal Competence
The competent self-manager has many skills. Some of the most important skills have been termed "executive functioning". Historically, this has been a term that professionals who study the brain have used to describe problems in functioning related to certain deficient brain structures. However, the concept of executive functioning has recently garnered a great deal of attention in the popular press. Executive functioning refers to the mental activities that are used to self-regulate and direct one's actions. It refers to such skills as the ability to plan, organize time and space, initiate projects and see them through to completion, and resist immediate temptations in favor o f better rewards that will come later.
At the Tarnow Center, we take a broader view of executive functions, one that includes not only biological factors but also psychological and social factors. The good self-manager performs well not only in the academic/intellectual realm, but in the social/interpersonal arena. It is impossible to underestimate the importance of relationships in every individual's life. Every context - school, work, family, and friendship - requires social and interpersonal self-managementSM.
By our nature, humans are social animals. It is essential for normal development and for physical and mental health to have social relationships. The greater the number of healthy relationships one has in one's social network, the greater the protection from disease and from the deleterious effects of stress.
If we consider not only one's physical wellbeing and protection from stress, but also the quality or enjoyment of one's life, the importance of a healthy social network is even more evident. Without good social skills, school or work performance suffers, as do marriage or other important relationships. Parenting also suffers when adults cannot provide good relationship role models to their children. In sum, people who have better social skills experience better outcomes throughout their lives. A successful life includes success in all kinds of relationships - people who are socially competent perform better at school and in their occupations.
Social and interpersonal self-managementSM skills develop in the context of early attachment relationships; they are influenced by both biological factors and family/environmental factors. Throughout childhood, parents, teachers, and other adults provide support (in varying degrees at each developmental stage) to encourage the child's competence. An important part of this developing competence is learning how to have healthy interpersonal interactions with family members, peers, and authorities.
Self-managementSM competencies that impact relationships include the abilities to tolerate frustration, self-soothe, inhibit inappropriate behaviors, manage one's activity level, take responsibility, be flexible, have empathy for others, regulate emotions, monitor one's thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and establish and maintain social relationships. Interpersonal consequences of poor self-managementSM can include frequent negative feedback, poor self-esteem, and poor social relationships with family members and peers.
At the Tarnow Center, we evaluate where self-managementSM is working in one's life and where it is impaired, so that each individual can more effectively meet responsibilities, achieve emotional stability, and display optimal competence in managing feelings and relationships. When self-managementSM deficits are related to interpersonal relationships, group treatment is especially effective. Participation in a group can help one learn to develop better social skills, tolerate interpersonal frustration, take responsibility, have empathy for others, and establish and maintain social relationships. In fact, group therapy can help with all of the competencies needed for successful interpersonal relationships.
For children and adolescents, group treatment may also be the treatment of choice for addressing self-managementSM deficits that have not yet caused interpersonal problems. Children and adolescents are more inclined to hear feedback from peers and are more likely to establish new behaviors if they have the opportunity to enact behaviors, practice skills, and give and receive feedback. In addition, group members see that they are not alone and that others struggle with some of the same issues.
Typically, children and teens enjoy participating in groups. They learn valuable skills about interacting with fellow group members that will form the basis for success in their chosen occupation. Of course, in some cases, family and/or individual therapy may be needed as a supplement to group so that the patient and family can receive the maximum benefit from treatment. Patients, parents, group therapists, and individual/family therapists are all important parts of the team needed to achieve interpersonal and social competence.
1E.g., Saltus, Richard C. (2003). Lack direction? Evaluate your brain's C.E.O.. The New York Times.
- A Few of the Many Benefits of Group
- Learn to tolerate frustration
- Develop empathy for others
- Learn that you are not alone
- Connect with peers
- Learn to inhibit inappropriate behaviors
- Develop social skills
- Learn to take responsibility
- Establish and maintain relationships
- Learn to give and accept feedback
- Learn to accept yourself and improve self-esteem